FAT CELLS
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Day Zero. Fat Cells. Concrete. Water.
Baseline. Emptiness. Void. Full.
March 4th, 2012. Sunday.
I WAS DONE.
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So began my journey... this couldn't possibly be it. There was physical discomfort and
MENTAL TORTURE. Night Sweats. Chills. Rage.
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More emptiness.
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I've heard of others refer to this insidious drug as being KICKED TO DEATH BY A BUNNY.
Yes. A bunny.
This particular "rock bottom" is soft.
So you keep digging and digging.
At some point I turned to look up to see if I was almost "there" and I could barely see any light from the bottom of the pit.
Somehow, I was finally pulled out.
By something?
By others? How? I HATED OTHERS.
But there I was, blinded by the light, my whole body adjusting to the sudden glare.
APERTURES.
Every cell in my body squinting.
MY MIND SCREAMING.
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I walked along the edge. The ecosystem revealing its beauty to me in glimpses that I could not fully ignore,
WHICH I BOTH LOVED AND HATED.
Although I'm quite certain I was not capable of feeling love just then.
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The concrete alive under my feet in its ebb and flow, graceful dance of
EXPANSION AND CONTRACTION.
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