JAY SPOKE ABOUT VESSELS.
He told us that his "HP" inhabits, and enters, and emanates through him.
Inexplicably, this resonated with me at a very deep level.
I knew just then that somehow this man was giving me clear answers to the INCESSANT QUESTIONING
that had been running through my mind earlier that day, as I walked around the lake,
LIPS UNMOVED, HEAVY HEART,
I sat there and listened, insecure, in unprecedented pain.
No relief, no direction, untreated.
But here was something...
"HP" refers to a higher power, another word for god. Many people are uncomfortable with the word god, especially amongst addicts.
Some reject it.
Some get enraged or saddened.
Some hold profound resentments after having experienced unfathomable and inhumane acts at the hands of others, feeling completely abandoned.
WHERE WAS GOD THEN?
Still others will be offended that I write the word god in lower case.
But here, one can decide upon their own understanding of god or non-god.
I too had experienced the sensation of being a vessel.
A FEW TIMES WHILE MAKING ART,
standing back and knowing that it wasn't me, but through me that whatever it was had become.
And again as I held a prolonged gaze with a loved one the moment she died.